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Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
So what are your thoughts on this matter?
My first reaction was one of concern as well.
I felt a bit calmer when you said you both have trust but it is one of these things that may be crossing the boundary a bit....some things we just dont do when we are in a relationship
I would suggest that you speak with him to let him know of your concerns and need a bit of reassurance.
I hear of your past issues but I dont think this is what it is...if you said to me whatever he does I am jealous over then that is a different story but going out for drinks? eh, not in love with it.
thats my thought exactly. So how do I bring this to him? I want him to see it without being on the defensive so I was thinking of approaching him from a "I have researched this matter to gain all perspective from every possible side" view
When I tried expressing it before I was accused of jealousy and mistrust
In the most loving way possible....I care for you so much and I support you and your other freindships but there is just this unspoken boundary about drinks at night with another woman that just doesnt feel right. I hope you can hear me on this and maybe do something else with her during the day.
yes I am sure he said those things. the word jealous is used as a weapon as if it is some horrible thing but all humans have it
Perfect!!!! Thank you Jen!
so lets just play that out...even if you are jealous...so what...he can respect that boundary and be sensitive to your needs and feelings around this.
It is my pleasure.