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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 650
Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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Even though I have had issues with trusting previous partners,

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Even though I have had issues with trusting previous partners, I do trust him completely, but I think its more the situation that I was uncomfortable with. Lunches are a lot less risky in my opinion but I am trying to see this from his side too. I admit my reaction was a jealous one largely due to his being so upset with me for being uncomfortable with the idea. How should I approach him so it is healthy and productive?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
I think it's great that you are so willing to see the situation from your boyfriend's side. You may be doing that because you had issues with trusting previous partners and you don't want to behave that way again - you don't want to act or feel like a jealous woman.

Unfortunately, from what you have reported, I think you have a good reason to have some concerns about your boyfriend and his interest in this other woman. Just because you may have felt jealous in the past, when it was really not called for, that doesn't mean that a situation won't arise in the future when being jealous and concerned is appropriate.

Nevertheless, if you're willing to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt this time, I suggest that you talk to him about your feelings when he goes out for drinks with other women. You should let him know that you don't feel comfortable with that if it's an evening date. You would like him to compromise next time, if there is a next time, and go out with the other woman for lunch instead of dinner. If he is okay with that, and you are okay with that, then the problem has been solved. If he is unwilling to be sensitive to your feelings then I would say there is a deeper problem in your relationship that needs to be addressed.
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