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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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My Boyfriend of 4 months informed me the other day he was taking

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My Boyfriend of 4 months informed me the other day he was taking a close female friend for drinks. While I have no issue with male/female friendships outside of our relationship, concern immediately popped up as to why he wanted to go for drinks alone with her and why I wasn't invited. Am I being jealous? Am I being irrational to think it should be a lunch thing not drinks, etc in the evening. I want to understand this myself because I do not want to cause contention between us but it opens the door for more to develop as far as I am concerned. Please help
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Good morning, this is Howard,

I'm sorry to hear about this problem.

I do not think you are being unreasonably jealous or irrational about this. From what you described, it sounds like your boyfriend went out on a date with his close female friend.

I think your boyfriend is manipulating you when he tells you that you don't trust him and that you're being jealous.

You have a very good reason to be concerned with the nature of his defensiveness.

I think there is trouble in your relationship and you need to be on guard. You may want to consider couples counseling to resolve some of these issues. Unfortunately, my suspicion is that your boyfriend would not be willing to participate.
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