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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 650
Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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What do I do? There is a woman that I work with, and I feel

Resolved Question:

What do I do? There is a woman that I work with, and I feel like I've fallen in love with her. My love continues to grow for the past two years. The problem is that she is married with kids, two of her kids are less that two years old. She likes me a lot, and she told me that if she was single we would be together. However, she is not happy in her marriage, and she has told me, and other people that she doesn't plan on being with her husband for the rest of her life. I am in my 40's, and I'm single, I've never been married, and I don't have kids. I've only fallen in love once in my life time when I was 18. I know her husband, and he knows me we all work in the same place. I've tried to distance myself from her, and I've made half-hearted attempts to pray to stop loving her, but I just can't help myself. I really don't know what to do, I am so confused.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Good evening, this is Howard,

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty you are having. Love is a powerful force, one that is difficult to resist.

In my opinion it's okay to love this woman as long as you don't act on your feelings right now. That would be the wrong thing to do, and it would cause a great amount of pain and difficulty for everyone involved. Although she told you that she won't stay with her husband for the rest of her life it is possible that she may stay with him for many more years.

If you find it too difficult to be around her in these circumstances it would be best for you to find another job, if possible. If you believe that you can control your actions, and not act on your feelings, then I think you can continue working there, although this may be a painful situation for you.

I hope this has been helpful.
Howard Wise and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I understand. I am mentally prepared to accept the fact she will stay with him for at least another ten years due to her financial situation having 4 kids. I'm still a little confused that this will happen to me, because I really never wanted a woman with kids, and I am extremely cautious and picky when dating. I just can't understand how I fell in love with her. I'm 40 and still single and looking, and I can't find no one suitable, but the wrath of love for her is very painful to deal with. Since we are friends is it okay to buy her gifts? Because i do buy her gifts quite often.