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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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What is the best way for an ex-wife to accept her ex-husbands

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What is the best way for an ex-wife to accept her ex-husbands new partner, when its a situation where she knew her before the divorce?
Good morning,

Can you tell me more about what you mean by "accept her ex-husband's partner?"

How is she behaving now towards your partner?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Sorry I wasn't clear, I am the new partner. My partners ex-wife is not acceptingof her ex-husband's new partner (me). She is unreasonable with the childcare situations, rude, spiteful, very inconsistent and very irrational - towards my partner, as I have no direct contact with her, for this very reason.


I think because before the divorce she knew me (I knew both her and her husband at the time), so she might be finding it hard to accept that her now soon to be ex-husband is in a new relationship with someone she once knew?


Is there a way to overcome this, will some sort of closure be needed, or will it always be uncomfortable?

Thanks for the additional information.

A divorce always ends the legal connection between spouses. Unfortunately, many times the emotional connection is still strong because the issues which were present during the marriage have not been resolved.

Your partner's ex-wife would benefit from individual psychotherapy. That would be the best way for her to resolve the issues still bothering her. Unfortunately, you do not have the ability to get her into therapy, nor does your partner. Until, and unless the ex-wife puts these issues behind her it's likely that she will continue to be a negative influence on your relationship.

I hope this has helped!
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