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Ryan LCSW, Relationships
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Professional therapist
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Okay never did this before but I am at a place I am not sure

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Okay never did this before but I am at a place I am not sure how to approach. I have been dating a girl for three months and we get along great and all seems well except.....she told me the following about her past: she was married for several years and three children then her marriage began to fall apart due to letting life get in the way of time with each other she ended up falling in love with some one else and ended up leaving her husband the second relationship lasted four years and as she tells it ended Because he wanted children and she did not

Now I am left with some questions there had to me more to the demise of he second relationship then just not agreeing on a bany after all she loved him. Also should I even care about this enough to talk about it with her or should I just let it all go as just history. Does it say anything about her I should consider.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ryan LCSW replied 5 years ago.
Hey there,

I noticed you said that you were left with some questions, and I do think it's important to listen to your gut if it's telling you that something isn't right. If your relationship with her has otherwise been great up until now, it is possible that her history is nothing to worry about. A disagreement over whether to have children is enough to end a lot of relationships, but if you're starting to get the feeling that she's not being honest with you, I can understand why you would start to wonder if there was more to all of this.

At some point it may be very appropriate to talk to her about any concerns you're having, especially if things are going well and you're thinking that the relationship could eventually get more serious. Some people who have a history of problematic relationships tend to repeat the same mistakes. It seems reasonable to eventually have this conversation with her and make sure that any past relationships are over before you continue to move forward with her. However, unless you are seeing any other warning signs, and if things have otherwise been going well, I wouldn't automatically assume that this history says something about her that would make it necessary to reconsider dating her.

I hope I've been able to answer your question and I certainly wish you the best. If there's anything else I can do help just let me know.

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