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Santo B
Santo B, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 86
Experience:  Clinical Social Work
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We have been married for 37 years. Several months ago I sat

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We have been married for 37 years. Several months ago I sat with another man in a coffee shop who had made a pass at me. We chatted for awhile and we parted. He found out I was married and backed right off. He has made no more advances toward me. I told my husband we had coffee and he got so jealous. this is several months later and he can not get past this . He says he is fine but then all of a sudden the jealousy just hits him and he feels very down. I think I have lost his trust. I told him today I would do whatever it takes to make things better between us again. He realizes his jealousy is out of hand but does not know how to deal with it. What can I do to help him?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Santo B replied 5 years ago.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I hold a Clinical Master's Degree in Social Work with a focus on Adult Mental Health. I currently provide general Life Coaching.

Hello! I think you have already taken the appropriate steps towards mending the situation. It may be helpful to ask him what triggers these feelings of jealousy. You are not in control of his feelings, he is.

You may want to talk about what the conversation was about at the coffee shop, why you chose to speak with this gentleman, and how it made you feel. You should also remind him that during your conversation you spoke about your marriage, which I believe rings true to your dedication and commitment to your husband.

I wish I could tell you what to do to alleviate his jealousy and concern, but this is something that he must take on and reconcile with himself.

You have already told him that you were faithful to him, and that he is the man you will spend the rest of your life with.

I would recommend that you explore his feelings of jealousy. You may even ask him if the jealousy may be attributed to him never have the opportunity to speak with another woman, and have another woman show interest in him.

37 years is a long time, and by now he should know that you are a faithful and loving spouse. Emphasize less on the man making an advance, and more on the fact that someone showed genuine interest in you. I think that may be the thing that is bothering him, and what he may be jealous of. Re-assure him that he can feel comfortable speaking with you about it, and that you will not pass judgment or become angry with his response.
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Expert:  Santo B replied 5 years ago.
Hello! I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I hope all has been well.