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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 650
Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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been accused of being controlling and mentally abusive, have

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been accused of being controlling and mentally abusive, have never laid a hand on my wife, always encouraged her to do whatever she wants, told her she is a smart attractive lady and that I love her, showered her with gifts, paid for home help, she hasn't had to work and yet I am the controlling one because the she lets the kids wreck havoc in the house, I controll her because despite currently paying $600 in home help per week - for cleaning and kids care, I still come home and 50% of the time have to dish up my own dinner (which is cooked by the hired help) and tidy the house, and get the kids to bed. I am over it
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Good afternoon,

I'm sorry to hear about your unhappy situation. Do you have a question?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Not sure what to do, I don't think she will change - I really think I need out for my own sanity but I don't want to walk away on my marrige, I would never walk away on kids. I just have the sinking feeling that there will always be something wrong with me
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for the additional information. Your wife sounds unhappy, and so do you!

Before you walk away from your marriage I would recommend marital counseling with a skilled therapist for a minimum of three months. Would you consider this?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Done the marrige councilling thing, I believe that she has some real deep seeded issues that she won't own - everyone elses fault. My family and friends say that she does not know how lucky she has it (as they probably would), however they would call me on my behaviour if/when it is wrong. I grew up in loving home - happyly married parents with clear boundries, although my father could be hard on us, we knew he loved us, she grew up in a very messed up family, and recently accused her father of doing some pretty bad stuff, yet she consitently critises my family.
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
I understand.

It sounds like you are not hopeful for any positive changes because you've tried marriage counseling and that didn't help significantly, and your wife has some deep seated issues. There comes a point in many marriages where the only realistic option is divorce. You may be there.

If you and your wife agree that there are no options other than divorce you will need to prepare your children for it.

You will also need to find a reliable attorney to represent you.

I hope that I have been of some help to you at this difficult time in your life.
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