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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 650
Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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I have messed up my relationship between me and my girlfriend.

Customer Question

I have messed up my relationship between me and my girlfriend. I've said something really hurtful last night that has broken her heart, at night time when we were sleeping, she was sleeping the other end of the bed and i was the other end of her as well, we didn't talk at all and she wouldn't let me touch her at all. This morning she still wouldn't talk to me but later on she slowly forgive me and decided to have breakfast with me, but she said "I'm not making you breakfast this time, go make yourself some!". So i started to beg her a bit to make me some or share her foods with me, but she kept saying no to me. So i gave up and went to make my own breakfast and I've asked her again "can i share your food, and she said "Erm, yeah if you want" but it was too late because I've already opened my package of food, so she went and try to finish the rest of her food, so i gave her a sad look at the same time eating my food. Then she went mad and said "I can't eat, I'm going to bed!", so i went and followed her inside, but she gave me disgrace look and said go finish your food because they are getting soggy, so i went on to finish my foods and went back to her. After that she gave me a disgust look and said "how many times do i not give my food to you after i said no? Don't you understand my negative words after we've been almost 6months together?" At that time i thought to myself that i did understand her negative words but i just didn't want to beg her anymore, i feel like if i kept of begging then she would feel very annoy of me so i had no choice to stop begging her and cooked my own food. Later on she said "i don't want to hear any noise from you or see you in my sight!". So i sat down far and start writing her a letter from the bottom of my heart to explains everything i have done and how sorry I'm of breaking someone heart that i truly love so much, then i left the letter besides her and went out for a quick walk to give her some personal space to read and to think about it. After that i came back and i saw her but i feel so ashamed about stabbing someone heart with my words, i don't know how to mend this problem, i don't want to break up with her, i want to be with her for the rest of my life, she has taken my heart, my heart belongs to her, i don't want love another girl, i want to share every moments with her and take care of her when she needed me. Right now she is in the upstairs, and I'm downstairs in the living room feeling shit and don't know what to do or what else to say to her except sorry for what I've done but i love her forever more. I'm so scared of loosing her in my life, I'm scared of there is no way of mending our relationship, I'm scared of making the choice of giving up on me, i don't know what to do without her in my life. please help me guys?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can see that you are having a hard time right now.

Can you please tell me what you said to your girlfriend last night that broke her heart?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Well she wasn't feeling well already and I've said oh stop teasing me i can't take this anymore. i said i can feel your pain now, when u wanted something but u cant have it, stop feeling me up, u cant have it right now and u can't give it to me then why tease me? it sound like i was just using her for the whole time. But i didn't meant to say something like that to hurt when she is already in pain. She feel so disgust about me from last night, because she have already told me that she cant give it to me right now, but i keep getting forgot in the morning and trying to turn her on as if i didnt care about her, but after she told me i didnt remind myself every moment and try to help her like buy her loads of juices from supermarket and also to keep myself away from her.
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
I want to be sure I understand you. Is this correct: you were trying to have sex with your girlfriend and she wasn't feeling well. Your behavior hurt her feelings.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
no i wasnt trying to have sex with my girlfriend, i know i couldn't because she isn't feeling well and i know the only thing i do is to help her and support her, but in the end i said "would u stop touching me, i know im sure we both can't have it at this time while u r in pain!", but i dont know why i kept forgetting in the morning that i need a reminder every morning, and she said i wasn't caring enough for her but i've tried to avoide the problem.
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

You are doing your best to let your girlfriend know that you care about her. No one is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. If you continue to show your girlfriend that you care about her and love her I am sure she will forgive you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
but right now i dont know how to face her or should i go home? i saw her read the letter i gave her earlier on but she didnt even answer me at all. she is upstaires in the kitchen and im just spending my times downstaires drinking alchole, what should i do expert?
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
Drinking alcohol is not a good idea, so you should stop drinking right now.

Ask your girlfriend if she wants you to go home or if she would like you to stay.

I hope this has helped.
Howard Wise and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
ok thank you for your time so much Mr Howard H.
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 5 years ago.
You are very welcome. Good luck!