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Howard Wise
Howard Wise, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 650
Experience:  Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
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Hi, My wifes mother has a bad way of putting her down. She

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Hi, My wife's mother has a bad way of putting her down. She always points out the negative things and always says how "dumb" or "ditzy" she is. Also i have reason to believe while my wife isnt around her mother, her mother tells all these other guys she talks too just how "hot" and beautiful my wife is, then all these "older" guys always want to meet her. this is really concerning me for a number of reasons. I feel really bad for my wife, because a mother shouldnt act like toward her own kids. I just want to know how i can help my wife over come and recover from the negative things her mother does and says. I also believe her mother has a lot to do with extra added stress and fights between my wife and I. I love my wife and Our Daughter more than anything, I just wish i knew exactly how to help her, because sometimes it gets overwhelming.

Thanks so much,

Good morning, this is Howard,

This sounds like a difficult situation for both you and your wife.

You wrote that it gets overwhelming. Can you tell me more about that?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi Howard, thank you for viewing my question. Yes this is very difficult situation. As far as the overwhelming part, It seems My wife's mother always tries to drive a wedge between My wife and I by causing all these problems. Its so bad that my wife cant even talk to her own mom on the phone with out being upset, depending on what was said, my wife then tends to be a in a bad mood with our daughter and i when we had nothing to do with the phone call. I am trying to explain this the best way i can. i guess over all its a battle, Her mother brings her down and I try to pick her back up, but also in the process i kind of lose sight of my self and get worked up as well. I know it sounds bad, but i feel if she had no contact with her mother for a while things would be fine, also we have tried that before and it worked great. I dont expect her not to talk to her mom and i want her to be able to but with out all the drama.
Thanks for the additional information.

The situation you report is, unfortunately, a common one. Clearly, the solution is to reduce the frequency of contact between your wife and her mother - there is nothing bad about that! Her mother is a force for destruction in your marriage. She does not have the right to interfere the way she does.

You know what you have to do!
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