Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
I am sorry that you are feeling hurt, scared, and put down. Throwing the word "divorce" around is not good for a marriage. It puts divorce out there as a possibility and a threat. It is hard to feel safe in your relationship with that threat over your head.
It sounds like your self-worth is pretty low too. Being called an idiot does not make anyone feel good about themselves.
Would it be possible for the two of you to see a marriage counselor? That would offer you an opportunity to talk about your feelings and all that is happening in a safe environment.
The reason that you keep asking your husband if he loves you is because you don't feel loved! Certainly from what you describe, you are not getting very few positive feelings from him.
Rather than saying he is to blame or you are to blame, I find it much more helpful to look at both people as contributing to problems in the marriage. Then...each of you has things to work on and it isn't a matter of one is right and the other is wrong.
You wrote that you have not been very interested in sex and that you understand this has caused problems. So that is you taking responsibility for an issue in the marriage. I imagine that your disinterest in sex is because you do not feel loved and cared about and so it is difficult for you to open yourself up to your husband in this way. Does that make sense?
To some degree, it sounds like you are living on egg shells...not knowing if something you say or do will upset him. I am sorry..this is a difficult way to live.
I see that you are offline right now. When you come back on line I will be notified. We can chat then.