How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My wife and I have been together for 17 years. We were married

Resolved Question:

My wife and I have been together for 17 years. We were married after 10 years of being together and 5 years of living together. I have recently discovered that she had an affair 7 years into our relationship, a couple of years before we were married.

I have tried to live with this revelation but find it very difficult to get passed it. We have children and have agreed to divorce but stay living together for the sake of the family.

What grounds can I use for Divorce?

The real grounds would be infidelity. Can this be used if it was prior to marriage? I would not have married her if I knew at the time.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Gareth,

Divorce in the UK allows only one ground for divorce – the irretrievable breakdown of a marriage.which is divided into four areas:

  • -Unreasonable behaviour
  • -Adultery
  • -Separation
  • -Desertion

Unreasonable Behaviour is the most common grounds for divorce today. You must demonstrate that your wife has acted in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with her. Through your attorney you must file an unreasonalbe behaviour petition, alleging relatively mild allegations such as spending too much time with her career or avocation, having no interests in common, or pursuing a separate social life. These minor differences may suffice.

In your circumstances, using the Unreasonable Behaviour grounds would be more applicable than Adultery, since you were not married. Furthermore, if you knew about actual adultery, you would have had to file within six months of your revelation.

The other grounds, separation and desertion, would not apply at all.

Divorces are strictly an administrative procedure if the divorce is uncontested or undefended. If you both agree, it will not be contested. It is you two who set the grounds ofr Unreasonable Behaviour.

I hope this helps.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC,CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you