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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Has guy lost interest? for the past 2 months i have ben seeing

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Has guy lost interest?
for the past 2 months i have ben seeing this guy. We have met 3 times as we live approx 3-4 hrs apart. We hit it off instantly after finding each via online dating. At the beginning he was very attentive and kind as we both shared and listened to each other's concerns about things and lots of laughter also. He was like a real friend and we could talk about anything as conversation was very free and natural. On the 3rd time we arranged to spend the day together and it was a week where many people were cancelling things that they had arranged to do with me. The morning of me meeting this guy , he rang and cancelled, stying that his nephews car had broken down on road and he was the only one available on a Sunday to repair it. He said that he was gutted at having to ring me as he was looking forward to the day, however he did not say "sorry". He was in my area 2 days later and we did meet for about an hr which was lovely. He explained to me that he was very unhappy at work and having difficutly with his ex partner regarding money. It was evident on his face how miserable he was. Follwoing this the text messages and calls wer fewer and I found myself initiating the contact, but he always did respond and our phone calls were always about an hour in lenght. We made each oher laugh! This Fri gone he asked what I was doing the weekend and I stated "nothing". He said that he would meet me in the city and we would spend the evening together. Yesterday morning he cancelled and appeared to be in a very angry state, stating that his boss had called him into work on a saturday for incomplete work he had not done on Friday evening. he bos told him that "his mind was not on the job for the past few weeks and if he didn't finish off the work properly today (sat) then he would sack him, hence canecelling to meet with me. I did ask him if he wanted to finish with me and he said "definetly not" and that he wished "I belived him", however the trust for me has broke. I old him that I was not contacting him any further and if he wanted to see me he knows where I am. I told him that I was annoyed and disppointed as this was the 2nd time in 2 weeks and I was not putting up with again. I told him that I will not be hurt by him and he said that he understood this. He said "the next time I am speaking to you, I will be with you". I replied fine and wished him well. He did not say he was sorry but said that he feels "reallyshit for doing this to me". At this point in my heart I beleve it's finished and I won't hear from him however what do you think? Many thanks. Ann.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear XXXXX,

This man may or may not be sincere. However, he is unreliable, and does not have what it takes to manage his own life successfully, and he certainly does not have the wherewithall to put the proper effort into maintaining a relationship.

I am certain that you have found wonderful qualities within him, but you would be well advised to let him go.

You may hear from him again, and you may allow yourself to be taken in again. You will not have a happy time of this, however. This man has much too much emotional and mental baggage.

I wish you well and hope you can move forward in a positive way.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Dear Elliott,

 

Many thanks for your honest reply.

 

Even though I informed him that I would not make contact I did send him a text message stating "A, I'm sorry if I put you under pressure about meeting up. I genuinely hope things improve for you". There has been no reply as I usually received a response pretty quickly.

 

I belive my guy feeling put me in good stead this time and that he was losing interest or else he genuinley could not give me the time to get to know me because of the difficutlies he is having. He really was a lovely person.

 

 

Dear Ann,

I believe that you understand the fleeting nature of this relationship and that being a lovely person is just not enough to maintain a relationship. This one did't work out, but there will be more and you will be ready for the right one.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Dear Ann,

I trust that you are starting to move forward with your life. There is much to accomplish and experience and enjoy.

Blessings to you.

Elliott