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Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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my boyfriend has 3 grown up kids, went to his place im too

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my boyfriend has 3 grown up kids, went to his place im too shy to talk to his daughter but i make it up on the next day, but my boyfriend didnt buy that, then came back in my place but didnt seems his happy, then after couple of days he didnt call me or tx me,, then he said give him sometime to think, after that we still txting and i finally said ok im giving a time to think but i miss him so bad, cried every night thinking about him, i ask myself how long is the time, how come still doesnt want to talk to me? we have a trip to san diego and in my counrty then hawaii, i really dont know if we are still going or not, i tx him saying i want to go to your place and give something presents to his daughter coz of her bday he said dont come, there is so much misunderstanding in his part and unintentionally i say it to him in my part, just tx him and said that i want to talk to him, and he is willing to discuss it this weekend, and im so happy when he told me that.. i said i want to clarify everything,.For me i really want this relationship work, and i dont want to lose him, i really love this man, i guess, he thinks im looking for his money not him.. i want to prove it to him that he is wrong..
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 5 years ago.

Maybe he is upset that you did not talk to his daughter and normally people with children want to be with someone that will accept and get along with their children. Since you did not speak to her this may have made him a little uneasy about the relationship. I think you did the right things by giving him space and then trying to contact him about presents for his daughters birthday. Maybe you should wait a little and see if he contacts you then you can call him and tell him you would like to get together to have a conversation. It is very important you set this meeting up to communicate and tell him exactly what happened and how you feel as well as get to know how he feels. He will then see your true intentions and you can respond to whatever it truly was that made him change. At this meeting there should be no fighting just talking and trying to work things out to continue growing your relationship. I wish you all the best!

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
we see each other this weekend and to discuss everything,but still i dont if he still gonna forgive me or not, i dont want to lose my boyfriend.. he is my first American boyfriend, were the same nationality of my ex husband,i try to tx and call him, he didnt answer the phone and saying i really dont want to talk to anybody at this time that was on feb 20.after that we still txting but diff topic, i brought it up about getting together with the kids i even offer him to have some dinner here in my house with the kids, he didnt reply, i guess for the kids, he doesnt want to talk about it, and on the other hand, i guess its too much pressure coz of her daughter is pregnant, and no boyfiend around and that girl is daddys girl..
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 5 years ago.
If you are planning to see each other this weekend that is good. You can talk together then. Just try not to contact him until the meeting unless he contacts you first. From what you mentioned about his daughter being pregnant he must be under a lot of stress. A lot of it can he issues he is going through and not you at all or any issues that come up between the two of you will just be magnified due to what he is going through personally. Let him know you are there for him and will always be. Communication is key. Do not worry about the results of the talk since it did not happen yet. Just take it step by step. You did not loose him yet, so relax and take it day by day. Worrying will not help you. Deal with everything as it comes. After the talk then you will see what the next step is until then just try to take it easy. Think of ways you can help him and his children with what they are going through and be a positive influence. This will help take your mind off the negative and focus on the positive. I wish you all the best and hope it all works out!
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