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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Ive been with a 25 year old woman for over a year now. I moved

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Ive been with a 25 year old woman for over a year now. I moved from a different state to be with her,she does not live with me. I live a lone with my 2 yr old son. My problem is that she lives with her father, she has to be home to make him dinner , clean house, she calls it her obligations. She stays one night a week with me, barely that because she says she doesnt like to stay anywhere but home. She comes over during the weekdays but only to run me to the store and then has to rush home. I feel like im always alone, after i moved here. I know i should make friends, but i live so deep in the country its hard to try to do that. While when i lived in the city i made friends everywhere. When i say that to her, she says i throw it in her face that i moved, and if i want to leave then leave. Lately shes saying Im very controlling and basically smothering her. I dont see how this is possible when when i see her were doing a short errand, or the one day during the weekend. She wants to go out with her friends which makes me mad not insecure, that she can make plans with them but can not with me. I pay for everything that she wants hair, nails, ipad, new phone, hair extensions, things she needs, her sons needs, and if i mention i do it because i care, shes like well you dont have to. She also says she cant leave her father, because she and her son is all he has. I feel last in her life, and if i say something she says that im trying to make her pick between her father and i, and thats not the case, it just doesnt seem like she is trying to have a life with me. I dont understand why I am here if we arent moving along in our relationship. I feel like her dad is the controlling and manipulating one. I saw messages from her dad stating that she needs to get rid of me because she is not a taxi. BUT i am the one that pays for everything on her car, new tires, oil changes, etc. She brought this up to him and he just said i need to grow up. Im not sure what to do anymore
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Hello. This sounds like a very difficult situation you are in and based on the information you provided here, I would say that she is treating you like you come last in her life and perhaps even using you for your good nature. Everything you say here is not very healthy for a relationship at any stage. I am not sure how difficult or realistic it would be to consider moving back to your home state, but that ,may be your best option. If you are reaching out to her and she is not giving you anything back and is not even communicating with you at all, there is not a lot you can do about it unfortunately. There is only so much you can do and if you are trying and she is not, then you are going to have to give her an ultimatum and stand your ground about how you feel and then go from there. If she is going out with her friends but won't make time for you, that is extremely disrespectful. She doesn't seem to want to help the relationship progress in any way, so I'm afraid that your options here are limited. You have to do what is best for you and your 2 year old at this point.
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