How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask psychlady Your Own Question
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Ok so I met this guy online and have been talking to him for

Customer Question

Ok so I met this guy online and have been talking to him for a few months via email and now text. We have a lot in common and see eye to eye on lots of things. Unfortunately we are both really busy and I made the choice to tell him that it may not be a goo idea to meet since we don't have time, maybe in a few months when things slow down...he agreed that it would be very hard and also shares my concerns about time. We previously decided that we would keep things casual if we did meet. So here is my concern how can I tell if he is going to want to still meet in a few months other than waiting around to see? Have I possibly ruined chances by voicing my concern for wanting to postpone even longer?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like you need to redefine your relationship. If you both consider this a budding romance than it is a lot to expect to postponing your meeting. A relationship cannot survive without maintaining a minimal amount of time and attention. It needs to be nourished and eventually he will get tired of waiting. However you can be friends and have lots in common without giving it another label. Then you can pace your expectations and there is no boundary of expectation for what should or shouldn't happen. I think if you allow this relationship to be just light and friendly then he won't mind acknowledging the pace of both of your lives. It is okay to have a relationship with no expectations of romance. That way you have the enjoyment of his company and communication without worrying about whether you have time for a serious relationship. If your expectations are reasonable then his should be too. I would avoid talk about sex and relationships and serious commitments and then just see how it goes. Try to tell him your concerns and he may be having the same concerns as you are. Don't worry about disappointing him; be honest


Please press accept; this is the only way I am compensated

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
This isn't really answering what I asked....
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 5 years ago.
Since you met online I think you are right in waiting to meet each other. I do not think you should meet if you do not feel ready. If it is because you are busy than maybe a relationship is not a priority in your life right now. However, I understand your concern about worrying if you ruined your chances with him due to this. That is very hard to tell. That all depends on his feelings. If he is busy as well and pursing his life then he may be fine with your decision and meet in the future. However, if he wants a relationship now then by you not wanting to meet he may think that you are not ready or serious about him. This would depend on him. In general if you both like each other I would say continue to be friends at least even if you are not ready to meet. Communication is key here. First look deep into yourself and find what it is you really want in your life and with a relationship then speak to him openly and honestly. If you like him a lot then continue to be his friend and see where it leads the two of you. Only meet when you are ready and since you do not know each other I would recommend meeting in a public place the first few times. You really do not know him well. There are a lot of not so good things that happen with meeting people online, so I would say even though he seems great be careful for safety reasons. I hope this was helpful. Please let me know if you need any clarification. Hope it all works out well for you either way!
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 5 years ago.
Please let me know if you would like any clarification before accepting my answer. Thanks so much!

Related Relationship Questions