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TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3397
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My wife and I are married 10 years. We have two lovely kids

Customer Question

My wife and I are married 10 years. We have two lovely kids and up to recently every thing was great. Now she is flying off the handle alot with me lately over small things and constantly degrading me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I'm trying my best despite our work routines eating into our family time. Me 8-4:30. and her 3 weekend nights.
Should I give up my job and help out more with her and the kids?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for joining me. I am sorry to hear of the recent change in behavior. Is there something else going on that we are missing other than the work schedule cutting into the time that the two of you spend with one another? Is this a new work routine or something that you have been dealing with? Whenever there is a change in behavior I like to see what else may be going on that is causing stress to the point of her lashing out at you? I love that you booked a trip away for the two of you...that will be a great way to spend some alone time to nurture the relationship.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Sorry for late response. We are so busy. We had a heart to heart about what's wrong and laid our expectations on the table. Her expectations were quite different from what I was expecting. She wants me to work with her routine a bit better to allow her to sleep when she needs it. We need a baby sitter for at least one day and she wants to feel like I love her. I just wanted to her to respect me and stop putting me down even if it's just because she is tired and fustrated with the kids acting up. I do feel we need more time as a family but it will be three months till my college is finished and we can spend more time together in the evenings.I nearly regret doing the course but I need to get a better job. One a lot less hit and miss and a far sight less stressful.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
I am so happy you have had a heart to heart. I am also glad that you are willing to make some changes. I hope she will to and stop degrading you.
Please come back anytime for more support.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi I'm the wife inthink it's great that he looking for advice.. And it's good to get positive feed back it's just I'm not as bad as I'mMade out to sound. I work nights and over a 3 night period I often only get 4 hours sleep if I'm luckyI'm often awake 48 hrs sleep 4 then have to work another 12 then home at 8am and have to stay up again till bed time So yes I do get cranky especially when mid week I sPending all my time cleaning uP after weekend of very little house work been done add to that I take care of our toddler and baby... The main stress is his nasty mother who my husband won'tbelieve me when. Tell him the thing she says to me and my son. I don't want him to confront her I just don't exPect to have to have her visit to be nasty when he is not here.. As regards XXXXX XXXXX to rOme I booked it as I want to sOrt things out and have couple time. We only have one night alone in the week ( that is home at the same time ) and he is normally busy with paper work. Leaving me to just read or sleep... I know he won't be impressed that I resPonded but I thought it would be intresting to fill you in on the clearer picture.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 years ago.
i would suggest that you get into some counseling together. my role here is not to see anyone good or bad but try and support those that are having struggles, so no worries. Keep communicating and let each other know how you feel so you can get past this space.