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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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how do you forgive your husband for cheating

Resolved Question:

how do you forgive your husband for cheating
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

The first step to forgiving cheating is wanting to continue to be a couple. You have to know what you want from this partnership. If you want to remain together then you should consider a couples counselor. The desire to cheat is always based on a reason. It doesn't just happen as a partner may want you to believe. You have to know and resolve the reason why it happened. If you don't then you can't resolve your trust issues and he can't resolve why it happened. Therapy will give you a chance to really tell him why it has upset you so much. He needs to hear that. You need to hear why it happened. Then use any other modality you can to move past it. It takes work. You may choose to use self help or marriage workshops. You would have to research your area or go to your local bookstores. Establish an effective way to communicate that works for you.


If your husband wants this marriage he will do everything he can to make it right. When you observe him working on this problem it may help show you that he truly is sorry. Work together. When you can be reassured that he is regretful that will help you be more confident.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
he says he dosent know why it happened it just did
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
It would be better to ask this in therapy. He doesn't know because he hasn't worked on the issue since it happened. He may never know on his own. If he is really sorry he will begin the process of understanding this through a therapeutic process.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
this relation was for the most part a text relationship with a girl half his age who he had absolutely nothing in common with,she had no money and he had lots he paid her bills for attention. according to him it was not about sex just about him being a big man and he did it for himself and no one else. he says i didnt even pay attention and thats why it was so easy if i had it would have never happened. but i still can not believe that a man who has been married 25 years and always a good husband and father could do that. so was it about sex or just getting attention from a much younger woman, hes says it was attention i have a hard time believing a grown man would pay for that, i think there was more to it and hes to ashamed to admit it.i
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
iamm still waiting on a response dated feb. 5 at 11:07
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You can't let him blame you for his bad choices. That is a common excuse when a person does something wrong and then looks to others for a reason. It may about sex and about getting attention. It may be about stroking his own ego. I think he is embarrassed and that has led to these excuses. You can't deal with the reason unless he is willing to deal with the reason. Don't guess. Just know that it wasn't about lack of attention. He took the easy way out



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