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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Ok, Here is a follow up question that i am desparate to find

Resolved Question:

Ok, Here is a follow up question that i am desparate to find the answer. Ok I sent him an email practically saying goodbye and that i was moving on then he sent me this text:

Hi tonya i just got your email and everything you said was right it was everything i was hoping you say one day i was sad reading it i teared up a little especially when you mentioned you were on a date he was awesome im sure your probably getting married a couple kids ha ha when we first met you met the real me then i started to get scared so yes i changed for i was not seeing or feeling the real you were good together and its hard to accept that im reading your email again now and getting choked up again if you were standing in front of me now no words would be said just hugging im so sorry for everything tonya

I then responded and told him that things happen for a reason and basically I had accepted that things were over....but my heart is breaking and i cannot move on. I sent him a text yesterday say:

I cannot seem to remove you from my contacts, and I cannot stop thinking about you. i feel that we should talk, and a hug would be very nice...

I havent heard anything back from him, as this is normal for him to ignore me.

So my question is:
Do i give up and move on? I have tried dating other people and I am miserable, I cannot stop thinking about him. What should I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Hello. His response to you seems that he is hanging on a little bit also. If you feel that you need to not be in a relationship with him, then you have to cut ties and move on. Based on what he said in his text, are you sure he wants to move on? You are going to have to make a 100% for sure decision and go down that road. No sitting on the fence about it. If it is 'normal' for him to ignore you and he wasn't treating you properly, then you must move on. Dating other people will not make you forget about him. Only time and your own feelings will. it is going to be hard. It is going to be miserable. Most break ups are. Its ok to feel that way. Even though it seems as though you will never get over him right now, you will. Focus on yourself and your life and the things that you do in everyday situations. Think about the bad things in your relationship and the reasons why you have chosen to move on. If he was treating you badly and was not a very good guy, if he misses you and wants to be with you, then he will find a way to change and then he has to prove that to you. There is no magic thing to say or do which will make you forget about him right away. It is going to take time.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He told me a while back that it scares the hell out of him the way he feels for me, so I don't know if this is why he draws back or what. but we havent seen each other for over two months, so i take this as he isn't interested. Am I right?
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Maybe, but maybe not. he may very well be in serious love with you but for reasons only known by him, he is afraid to commit to you. he obviously has issues from his past that is preventing himself the ability to show his true feelings. This is not your problem, its his. I would cut all ties with him and tell him that if he works out his issues to give you a call. This way, you are being strong and confident about the break up and it also allows for him the open door that if he does feel so strongly about you that he wants to resolve his own issue, that you are willing to talk to him again in the future. He has to fix this, not you. Although you should move on and not have communication with him, you don't have to lose all hope that he may come back to you in awhile. Maybe not. You do have the right to move on to find a relationship where there is mutual respect and love. Don't wait around for him to work on his own problems. If you remain friends with him, then he is happy with the arrangement of having you close but not too close. Don't let him make the rules.
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