How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

please can you advice me on what I should do as a next step

Resolved Question:

please can you advice me on what I should do as a next step with regards, XXXXX XXXXX way I am feeling with not being able to return to my work due to the sexual attraction my boss had with me and enforced her power to sexualy make moves on me ,
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

I am so sorry for what you are feeling: humiliation, embarasment, guilt, and the feeling of being used and manipulated.

Your boss took advantage of you because she knew that vou were vulnerable. You had a moment of weakness, and now you are too embarassed to face her now..

You must also take responsibility for what happens. You were a victim, indeed, but could have resisted.

You have already seen your doctor. You are suffering from anxiety which is focused on returning to work. If your doctor gave you specific medication to deal with this immediate anxiety, you could ease these feelings enough to get back to work. Those drugs would have to be of the benzodiazepine class of antianxiety medication, specifically: alprazolam, lorazepam, or diazepam. Any other class of drugs will NOT be as affective, such as SSRIs, which the doctor might try to give you. They will not help.

You must go back to your office and face being there. You don't have to say anything to her unless she approaches you. If she does, and is trying to seduce you again, tell her that you felt so guilty about what happened that you couldn't come to work. If you don't want to do this anymore, tell her. Either she will understand and leave you alone, or she will fire you.

If you don't go back to work you will lose your job. If you do, there is a slight chance that you will lose it. However, you must face your fears and overcome them. It will be very tough to face your fears. It always is. When you do, however, you experience tremendous personal growth, and will become a stronger person.

Take this situation, then, as an opportunity for personal growth, for gaining in strength and in self-worth. Take a few deep breaths, and move forward with your live. Don't let yourself be defeated. You can do it.

I wish you courage and perseverance.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
How can someone over power me to the point of seducing me in my own office and making future plans and tormenting my head and making me believe I had to do this , I felt so threatened by her it was making me unable to think in a normal way I lost my head my morales and believfes in life have been riped in two and I am suffering please help me
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Dear friend,

What has been done cannot be undone. Therefore, you will have to learn to live with it. I strongly recommend that you go and see a counsellor who will help you to cope with this. Very often we magnify a negative event and make it much larger than it really is.

Counselling (psychotherapy) will help you to reframe your thoughts and restore them to a manageable state.

I still recomend that you also try to get the medicaton that I recommended from your physician. You are suffering from high anxiety and need to calm down and then learn how to stop inciting yourself into this state.

That is the profesional way of dealing with this problem. It will settle down and be alright. Getting some help now will make a big difference.

If there is anything else, don't hesitate to get back to me. If not, please accept my answer so that my work can be acknowledged by JustAnswer. I love this work, but this is what I do to make a living. Thank you so much.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am really confused as to how my boss took her professional power to sexually trap me , I was crying the day she took her chance with saying sexual remarks and my head was all over the place , I need someone to explain this
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Dear friend,

The reason that this happened was because unconcsiously, despite your upbringing, your deep beliefs, and your morals, you were willing to try it. Perhaps it wasn't all terrible and you experienced some pleasure from the experience.

Now you feel that you have betrayed yourself and are absolutely burried in guilt.

If you no longer feel an attraction to her, then let it go. If you do, then perhaps there is more to your own needs and desires than you previously realized. If so, then accept the way that God has made you. Desires are human and not to be feared or ashamed of.

Do not worry so much about this. Face her, and face yourself as well.

If this is not the case, then let it go. It is not worth quitting your job. Let time heal this, and just move forward in your life. Keep all possibilities open, do what you feel like doing without guilt, and avoid situations that you don't want to be involved in.

Right now your are overly stressed-out. Calm yourself. Try to think this through rationally and decide who you are and who you want to be, and what you can live with. Avoid anything that you cannot bear to accept after the fact.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions