How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

hey there. im struggling a little with my anxiety . i have

Customer Question

hey there. im struggling a little with my anxiety . i have been seeing this guy for 9 month and for the best part off 6 been having thoughts off dread that i dont want to be woth him, is this what i want dread dread dread etc. so i spk to him about it and he is very supportive and is really trying to understand my annxiety. then i feel better then a couple off days later the same thing starts again and back on the merry go round. i broke up with him thinking i would feel better but the next day i phoned him in a state and the thought of him not been in my life was upsetting as i really do love him but cant seem to get the worrying dread thoughts out my head and its all negative thoughts to that out shine the good. i was in a relationship for 10 years that i had only been out off for 3 month when i met my current boyfriend and never experianced anything like this. the thing is too im moving in with this guy at the end off the month and keep gettin doubts just want it to go away and be happy :(x
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Hello. The first thing I would recommend is not moving in with him until you feel much better about the situation. You need to find out what exactly is the root cause of these thoughts and what these thoughts are. Do you feel insecure about him leaving you? Does he do something specific which causes you to have bad feelings? You need to pinpoint exactly where the problem lies. You can't start working on it until you know what you are working on. if he is being supportive of you, that is wonderful. His patience may eventually end with it, so you need to figure this out as soon as you can. If you are having an issue with insecurity, then I recommend that you work on your own self esteem first. If you don't feel good about yourself, you can't enter into a relationship in a happy state of mind. What makes you happy? All of these questions are what you need to narrow down. You said that you have thoughts of dread and that is very general for me to try to help you with. Get specific with your issues, then you can start working on it one thing at a time.
Dr. Paige and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

thanks .. its just funny as these thoughts wernt always there and have came on all off a sudden. to start with i was excited about moving in and starting a new life with this great guy but frusrates me how its turned around.

when i had my first son i had this anxiety but through time and meds and talking to people a dealing with it and living my life it seemed to go away and moved on with my life . well the deposit for the house is paid and i feel its my anxiety thats holding me back and giving me doubt as when thats not there im fine . just so confussed sometimes

Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
I understand. it can be overwhelming. By what you said, you seem to get these feelings when you have a big event happen; i.e the birth of your son, moving in with someone, buying a house, etc.. Would you say that it is accurate to assume that maybe you have these bad thoughts when something changes in your pattern of life?? Maybe learning to deal with changes is where your problem lies.