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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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ive just found out that my husband of 34 years is having an

Customer Question

ive just found out that my husband of 34 years is having an affair and I've proves to show that is going on. But he will not admit or give me any answers. suddenly become very cold and in a way pushing me away. I still love him very much, what can i do now as he refuse to talk to me at all. Ive not slept for several nights since finding out and shed so much tears and am feeling all confused as to why this is happening? He has a very demanding job as MD and I'm a housewife who cares about him alot. I feel so unloved. Please help as i dont know where to turn! [email protected]
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective

Dear friend,

This is a difficult situation since your husband shows neither remorse nor empathy for your pain. He cannot face the facts and so he just ignores it, and you. He is quite cold-hearted.

The fact that he seems to have no regards for your feelings indicates a personality trait that would make it difficult for him to accept held and go for counselling with you or on his own. This leaves you with two options.

  • live with it and endure it. This is the one that many choose, but it will not make anything change. There is no positive to loving this man if he continues to hurt you.
  • speak to a legal attorney and discuss the possibilities of divorce, and what benefits you could get, and how to go about it. Keep your proof and other evidence absolutely safe from his grasp if it could later prove useful to you.

I am sorry that I cannot produce a magical solution that would ease your pain or restore your husband to your side. This is a difficult situation for you and separation, on your terms, may be the very best option.

If you have more to add, feel free to get back to me on this question.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC