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I'm so sorry this man hurt you. But you have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about...all you did was love him. The person who needs to be ashamed here is him.
The fact that he still tries to get you to sleep with him after breaking up, and while he's with other women shows you that he's just a user of women, and when this stops hurting, you'll realize you're better off without him.
It's a sad fact of life that some men will say anything to a woman if he thinks she'll have sex with him. For this type of man, the conquest means everything, and it doesn't matter if hearts are broken along the way. Here's an article that explains some of this: http://cosmo.intoday.in/story/the-truth-about-hooking-up/1/6731.html
You're not a fool---he's sleazy.
Before getting involved with another guy, I'd recommend you read
Temptations of the Single Girl This book should be required reading for all women before they start to date. It talks about how to weed out the players from the men worth giving your heart to, and I highly recommend it.
You are very welcome! It's a pleasure to work with someone who is really working on understanding. And yes, sleeping with someone does make us bond too quickly...it releases the hormone oxytocin which is the same thing that makes mothers bond to babies. Here's a couple of articles that explain it. Sciencebehind falling in love and "Cuddle" hormone
If you're up for doing some work to figure out why you put up with such a guy for so long, I have another book recommendation. It's seven weeks of dailyreading, journaling and self-exploration. It will help you get clear on whatyou really want from life and relationships, and increase your self-esteem.Don't just read it all the way through. Do it the way it wasdesigned--daily--and you'll be amazed at how much clearer this all seems at theend of the process. Calling In The One:7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life.
Again, it was a real pleasure working with you, and thank you for the bonus--that was a very sweet surprise.
How nice to hear that you read the Temptations book!
I suppose you may never know whether he fell asleep during texting or not. Texting to me is a way to make arrangements, let someone know you're thinking of them, etc. I personally wouldn't use it for this kind of deep conversation...mainly because you can't see their facial expressions, etc. while they are answering. A man who is going to try to play you will just type back that he agrees with everything you say you want. When you're there, looking him in the eye, you can pick up some of the subtle signals of lying, or ask follow-up questions. If you have any suspicion that a guy is a player, try to draw him out with questions about his desires and goals before stating what yours are.
Go easy on yourself for possibly pulling the trigger too fast on man number one...you've just been through a big hurt, and you're going to be very sensitive for a while. But consider leaving the conversations that are meaningful for times when you're actually with a person, or at the very least, talking on the phone. I know too many women who have been disappointed by pretty words in emails, that turned out to be designed just to draw them in--and not true at all. You need to see and hear all the signals that will let you know if you're being catered to, or if he's really expressing his true feelings.