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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have a delicate question plus a little embarassing. I met

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I have a delicate question plus a little embarassing. I met someone recently we have been dating for about eight weeks. He is younger then me. I am able to afford nice things so I have been helping him out quite a bit. At first the intimacy was fantastic, but recently all he is interested in doing is cuddling and kissing nothing sexual. He says he is not ready for a serious relationship and not into the sexual side of it. I told him we are in different spots in our live as to what we need. He tells me all the time he loves me and just be patient. My question is am I being out of order by wanting more or not being supportive of his request to be patient. I am beginning to feel used and it becoming one sided. So not sure what to do. Please help.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You have a valid point. You should expect that if you are together this is a relationship especially if you are giving and giving. When someone gives and doesn't get something in return (I mean a give and take relationship) this can lead to resentment. You may be cautioned that if he doesn't want a relationship then he shouldn't accept your help. It sounds like he is getting all the benefits of a relationship and none of the responsibilities. That is not a good sign. You both should be fulfilled by the actions of the other. It doesn't have to be monetary but to claim that he doesn't want a relationship when he is having the benefits is very one sided. I would remove some the benefits of a relationship since he "doesn't want" one. Don't pursue sex - but he doesn't have the benefits of this either. I would be very clear. Function as a friend or function as a girlfriend but don't offer benefits from both worlds. He is way too used to getting both.


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