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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My daughter-in-law is expecting my first grandchild soon.

Resolved Question:

My daughter-in-law is expecting my first grandchild soon. I have provided most of the money for the baby's nursery. My friends have warned me that she is jealous of my relationship with my son. I feel that she is insecure and really hoped this precious event would bring us close together and change things. I feel that she only wants me around to foot the bill for the nursery ( which is now completed) as she goes back to acting distant and almost rude. I want to be an active part of my grandchild's life. I had offered to help them when they get home from the hospital, but they have turned down my help. I respect their need to bond with their child and have their privacy, but I live out of state and will not have an opportunity to be there on a routine basis. I feel as though I am being shut out. I have to make travel arrangements to be on-site to help. This is such a disappointment. It has really made m
e sad.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like you really want to be the great grandma but new parents can seem almost threatened by someone stepping in. They may be self conscious about this new arrival. There are all kinds of reasons for why they refused your help that do not mean that they don't want you there. They may be overwhelmed and don't want to look incompetent. They could feel that they will be asking too much. Don't assume that don't want you to be part of caring for the baby. When they have gotten used to caring for a baby you can approach them by disclosing your feelings that you feel unappreciated and left out. This should be particular to your son since your relationship is with him. You may find that he is more receptive than. You can discuss this problem with them but it may take some patience. Right now you don't know that they don't want your help. I think if you are patient you may feel more included.


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