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CompassionateMFT, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1
Experience:  I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with the state of California.
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have been seeing a guy for 6 weeks now, we were

Customer Question

have been seeing a guy for 6 weeks now, we were 44 hes a text from him today saying.."hey Baby how is your day going so far?"...I didnt respond and 20 minutes later I get another text from his phone saying.."Hey sweetie how is your day going so far?" i text back.."its going ok,going to lunch. why the 2 text"??
his response was.."Thought it was just 1 I text back.."different text?hmmmm".
Then his response was.."not sure what you recieved I only sent 1 text..I deleted all my previous text to free up space.Maybe that generated the double text"".
so then I text him .." right cause thats what fukn phones do...there are 2 different text,20 minutes apart"".
then he called and left a voicvemail saying he didnt know what I was talking about,that how did i even know it was from his phone, and that hes confused and he thought we had a better understanding that that"......then anothere voicemail came in saying" this will be my last call to you, i dont know whats triggering you to think im doing something, the balls in your court now, i cant make you talk to me your going to do what your going to do anyways"
He totally is trying to make me the one that did something,Right??????
then I get a text message from him saying...." Ok, I just went over the texts that i sent and I noticed that I did send 2 texts asking how your day was going and yes based on the time stamp they were 20 minutes apart.I hadnt realized that i had done that,and I apologize.But I assure you that I was not and am not trying to play games with you here.I love you too much for that and would never do that to you.It was a simply an oversight that I hope you dont let destroy what we have developed..Anywasy... hope to hear back,if not im assuming that you and I are finished.All the sentiments with the christmas cards and all the other words of admiration wasnt njust talk...they were from the heart.That is why it hurts so much that something like this has been such a disruption.Its like evrything said previously doesnt hold true longer.....

to me this is total manipulation or an attemt at it, cause he was I right?????
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

I think he is either manipulative as you said or going way to fast. What concerns me is that he went from concerned to angry so fast. Hopefully that is not a sign of things to come. He does sound manipulative and willing to challenge you very easily with little provocation. I would worry about someone that has all of these emotions in six weeks. I think the fact that he was willing to blame you about this is a red flag. He shouldn't have to check his records to prove a point. He could have just said that he could have done that and moved on. Instead he made an argument out of something silly.


I would be careful with someone who seems so manipulative so quickly. There will be serious issues as in any relationship and he can't resort to blaming. I would consider the costs and benefits to this relationship. Decide now if he is manipulative, controlling or mistaken.


Please press accept; this is the only way I am compensated

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Expert:  CompassionateMFT replied 5 years ago.
I'm not in agreement with the last reply. It sounds as if it is a simple misunderstanding and a message lost in translation. Txting should never replace face to face conversations as there is so much to communication other than verbal or written. Has he given you any reason to not trust him? Has he engaged in this type of behavior in the past?