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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have known a man for almost a year now. I am a widow he is

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I have known a man for almost a year now. I am a widow he is divorced. When I ask him to define our relationship, we spend everyday together, sleep together( sex minimal - due to my guilt about that).I have asked him to define our relationship , and he can't He isn't one to make a decision for himself,He always say what do I think never commits to his own answer. He said as cleary as he can define we are more than friends. He has hesitated around some people to call me "girlfriend" . All his future ideas have me in it. He says he is in no way ready to get married , and each day I sit here , forced myself not to have feelings for him, and accept this friendship status, with out defining my boundries. I am throughly confused about relationships . I was married for 22 years, and wehn my husband and I met we knew right then it would always be love... So help me understand what all this is about .
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

His words are confusing. There is a difference however in being committed or married and being in relationship. He may be comfortable by being in a monogamous relationship that isn't quite as serious as getting married and committing. Be careful or you could push too hard and lose him. I agree that you are not friends but try to find the medium between being in a relationship that is starting to flourish and one headed down the aisle. His inability to call you his girlfriend is somewhat troubling. Calling you his girlfriend doesn't commit him to marriage. It is up to you whether you see this as having a future. If he can't define it and it is early in the relationship that is understandable but he can't function with the understanding that he never commits to who or what you are. I would give it some time and then approach the situation again. He may just need more time. If you think he can't commit to anything then you may want to move on. But some people just need more time than others to really know what they want. The decision is yours.


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