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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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I have had an on again off again relatioship with the same

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I have had an on again off again relatioship with the same girl for about a year. She has been so confusing in her intentions with me and typically changes her mind about our relationship constantly. I recently was involved in another relationship and she became insecure and tried to woo me back and even kissed me. I told her we could remain friends, but that was it..however, my relationship fizzled out and we talked occasionally and she decided that us talking wasnt a good idea..because i had feelings for her and she just wanted a physical relatioship. She made it very evident that she didnt want anything more then something physical but constantly blurred the boundaries and wanted to continue being intimate with me-including every interacton initiating a kiss. Well, recently she invited me to watch a movie at her house and believing that she wanted to continue the physical relationship i attempted to kiss her and she stated that she couldnt. I asked her why she invited me over to watch a movie and she replied bc i liked the movie. Throughout the night, she was flirtaous and it seemed to be heading in a physical direcetion and then i asked her why she couldnt and she replied that there was someone else and that she just wanted to remain friends...she said she always has a fun time hanging out with me and that she didnt think she blurred any boundaries. I told her that her actions were confusing and that idk if friends is an option. Did i misread signals or she just using me? I am pretty good at picking up on things and even her body language didnt jive with what she was saying.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Based on what you say here, it sounds like she is definitely sending mixed signals. People read things differently and I was not there, but given what you say, she seems to not be acting in a fair way towards you. I'm glad that you told her where you stand and that she was blurring boundaries. It seems as though she is getting everything she wants in her relationships. If you feel that you can't be friends with her, you have every right to walk away. Be careful if she calls you if her current situation doesn't work. You don't want her to think that you are there whenever she feels like she wants to be with you. If you don't have a say in it, then you need to find someone who will respect you and put just as much into the relationship as you do, not just be there out of convenience.
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