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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Hi, Im 24 and single. Yesterday I went with a fellow student

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Hi, I'm 24 and single. Yesterday I went with a fellow student to the university cafeteria and she said hello to this guy. The three of us started to talk and I was very impressed with him. Later, I asked her who he was and she said that he studies with a friend of hers and that she doesn't really know him. I know he is single and I thought of sending him a message on Facebook reminding him who I am and giving him my phone number, however, Im concerned that this would be a bit too straightforward, couse I've suffered from my "over direct approach" in the past. I dont want to come on too strong, but I feel that asking someone to introduce us would be just as bad and wont really lead me anywhere and i prefer doing it my self...
My question is, what should I do? I Know that I need to "play the game" and let him pursuit me, being the guy and all... what can I say, I'm a bit old school about those things and I do believe that the guy should make the first move... and this is exactly where I contradict myself. so... should I write to him or should I ask my friend to arrange some kind of meeting?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Hello. I don't believe you should 'play the game' and let him pursue you, but if those are your beliefs, then you have to go with it. If you either contact him or ask to set up a meeting, you are completely contradicting that fact as you said. I don't see anything wrong with contacting him. You don't have to be overly smothering with him, you can just say exactly what you said here. Tell him that you were impressed with the conversation that you all had the other day and want to know if he wants to go get some coffee or tea or whatever your thing is at the university. You wouldn't be asking for a "date" just to meet him. You don't have to give him your number or anything personal, just a surface conversation. That is perfectly acceptable. Where you go from there is up to you depending on how that meeting goes.
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