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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Just recently an ex of mine started talking to me again. We

Customer Question

Just recently an ex of mine started talking to me again. We rekindled a lot of old feelings between each other and have been geting along really well in a more than friends style. We've been talking about getting back together but wanted to wait to put a title on things because we wanted to feel the relationship out before jumping into a serious commitment. While this was going on my most recent ex texted me and said that they want me back and that they made a huge mistake breaking up with me. I care for them both so much and each is amazing in their own right. The first ex is very sentimental and emotional and would be crushed I think if we didn't see what was still there, but I feel slightly more attached to ex number 2. Ex 2 was the first person I had ever had sex with, and since this is the most recent break up could it be that the thought of them as a relationship is just fresher in my mind? What should I do and how should I go about determining who is the better choice and who is right for me? I'm afraid I am going to be forced into a decision by one or both of them sooner than later before I can feel things out. I might add that neither know about each other, and I have felt really stressed out trying to keep them a secret from one another. Thanks
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 5 years ago.
Hello. This is a tough decision, but one that you and you alone are going to have to make. I would consider taking some time by yourself for awhile to really think about it. When you are by yourself, who do you feel like being with more? Who do you think about the most? This may take some time and won't be easy or quick for you. Make sure you are thinking about the right thing, not about who was the most recent, etc. Who makes you feel the happiest? Who do you see yourself long term being with? Even write some of these things down if you feel that might help, but ultimately you have to listen to your heart. You need to be with someone who loves and respects you and who is equally committed to your relationship. Don't be forced into anything.