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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question
Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7627
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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i have just left a 3 year relationship. I realise we were wrong

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i have just left a 3 year relationship. I realise we were wrong for each other and don't want to get back together, but i feel i need to talk to him about what happened. I am sure he would prefer to draw a line under it and not deal with it in that way at all. is it best to sever contact or is "closure" what i need or am i just picking the scab and preventing myself moving on?
-- If you give yourself a moment to be as honest as you nearly were in asking this question (am I just picking the scab and preventing myself moving on?) - you, and everyone else who use the word "closure" would have to admit the word "revenge" or the words " prove I'm right" fit much better in its place.

What would you talk about? Would you spend all the time talking about how you're taking responsibility for your part in the failure of the relationship and not saying a single negative thing about him or blaming him for anything?

Or would you be laying things out that he did wrong and expecting him to finally admit it and be sorry?

What would this talk accomplish? Would it contribute to the betterment of either of you? Will you take his criticisms and blame and thank him for pointing out your weak spots so you can improve them? Or will you be frustrated that he's still not listening to your helpful hints on how he can change and be better?

You realize you were wrong for each other - the end. No need to rehash it or drive that point home.

Let go, move on and don't look back
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