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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am having trouble deciding whether or not I should move out.

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I am having trouble deciding whether or not I should move out. How can I make such a difficult and finite decision? I am very close to my family, but my parents are also very worrisome and overprotective, and I don't get the same freedom as my peers (I'm a 19 year old in my 3rd year of college). I want that freedom, without stressing my parents out, and I think the only way I can get that is by moving 20 minutes away to an apartment near my school. If I go, I would move next school year in August (I turn 20 this February).

The problem is, my family has always been good to me and I will miss them A LOT. I don't want to rush growing up and moving out, but I also can't wait for some of the benefits that come with it. I need to decide soon, but I keep going back and forth. Every time I think about moving out, I get excited, but then I see someone my age or older living happily at home and I think "Hey, I should be doing that." How can I figure this out?

It sounds like you are feeling the pull of independence. You have to make your decision by not considering guilt in finding the solution. This is one of those decisions that is clouded by the guilt of leaving home. Even though your parents are overprotective they would not want you to stay because you feel guilty. You are in college and you have a right to want to have the full college experience. If you really want to grow up and you have the money to do so then I suggest you consider this part of growing up. Parents never want you to leave home so don't base it on that. You don't want to be there when you are 30. Do what your heart tells you to do. No matter what your decision they will cry then they will understand.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I do feel some guilt, but it there is also a part of me thinking "Why the heck do I want to leave this? I have a great life here surrounded by people I love and who love me. Why should I pull away from that?"
If that is your position then by all means stay. You will never have life again like yu have it at home. Maybe it isn't your time yet to go.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
I need someone who can help me look at the pros and cons of both sides and help me rationalize and be confident in my decision.