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I met a man on the internet last yr. We hit it off & talked

everynight for an hr sometimes...
I met a man on the internet last yr. We hit it off & talked everynight for an hr sometimes. I fell in love with his voice & personality. He is 80 & I am 70. In August of this yr. I gave up everything to go live with him in another state. He had given me an engagement ring prior to moving but now he says he can not marry me because there is Alzhiemer's in my family & If i got it he would have to spend all his money on me & wouldn't have any left for him. He will not make a written committment either so that I will have the money to go back & live with my family. I am devastated. I guess he just wanted a caretaker. He is really considerate in other things & has been generous. I am not a gold digger. I just want love & security. What should I do?
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Answered in 8 minutes by:
12/3/2011
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,427
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Verified
Hello. it seems like money is a dysfunctional center of the arguments here. it seems odd that his reason for not marrying you was the possibility to spend money on Alzheimer's treatment. If you live with him without being married, are things ok between you both? I might consider this arrangement for now if it works out and you both can have a good relationship when marriage isn't in the picture. Give it a little time and see what happens from there. He seems as if he may be scared of your intentions when it comes to money. If these feelings are unfounded, some time with him may ease his mind.
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,427
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago
Relist: Answer quality.
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
I have known this man for almost a yr. prior to moving in with him. He has all the qualities I was looking for but if he doesn't love me enough to provide for me, just enough to get back home, if he goes first. I am just devastated. He just wanted a care taker & feel I was taken in.
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
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Customer reply replied 6 years ago
Thank you for you help. I have explored every option & my family would come get me but I just cannot do this to them. He is generous by giving me his car to drive & money to go visit my grandchildren. I did not accept answer because I signed up for a month & thought I would not have to pay the $35 again.
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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1,427
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Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist

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