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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have a boyfriend of 15 months and I had a real blackout problem

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I have a boyfriend of 15 months and I had a real blackout problem in front of his kids and grandkids and I deck him twice and don't remember it and I don't remember him being there at all. Anyway this is the 4th time I had a epsoide, I was appalled the next day and his one daughter told me what happen. Will I have apologize to everyone there and have talked to him twice for 45 mins, about that it will not happen again. I had a very stressful week my has cancer back again, my grandma died right after Thanksgiving and I guess I had to much to drink to fast. Anyway he told me he did not want me to drink the hard stuff in front of him again r just stay home. That was Tuesday, but now he will not call me. I know he is mad I just wonder how long it will last. I was a very good girlfriend I spent alot of time and some money on the grandkids and taking care of him cooking and just the everyday stuff, why doesn't any of the good times count now? I promise I will never touch the had stuff again and mean it, and by the way while we talked for 45 mins he had four beers. Why is he so judgemental?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

There are several possibilities. He may be confused about what he wants. He was embarrassed but he knows that you have been a girlfriend. He could be wrestling with a decision and the silence is him working through his misgivings. The other possibility is that he wants to end things. I don't think that is the case because he could just say so. My best guess is that he is working through how to continue this relationship but you embarrassed him in front of his family. He probably has to decide how he will handle that embarrassment with his family and still have you. The big step will be accepting your apology. You are going to spend the next few months getting him to believe it. Being drunk takes someone's confidence that they have in you away. People are very judgmental when it comes to drinking even when they drink themselves. Usually it is because people can justify such a habit in themselves by thinking such things as she drinks more than I do..She has blackouts and I don't. Be patient to see what his opinion is.


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