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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Is there anything I can do to retrieve this situation?

Resolved Question:

There's a guy I see around at work (not the same office) with whom I felt there was some definite mutual attraction, but I never had a chance to really chat with him because he always has lots of co-workers around. We started saying 'hi' to each other and a friend got his name for me and suggested I email him. I did, introducing myself and saying I'd noticed him would he like to meet me for coffee sometime. He wrote back saying that he tried to find my phone number but couldn't, so here were his numbers for me. His office number and his work cell. I don't know what got into me but instead of calling him the next day, I emailed back with my number and told him that evening was the best time to call (I want to make sure he's single, but now I realize this was a bit obvious and maybe turned him off as manipulative?). I also called him that night but he didn't pick up. I left a brief voice message, just saying hi and here's my number again if you want to call. That was Tuesday. Now it's Friday and I haven't heard from him. I also haven't seen him around work so I'm worried he's avoiding me. I was SURE he was interested in meeting me too but did I totally blow it? Is there any way to retrieve this situation? I feel that contacting him again at this point can only make things worse. But I'm over 40 and rarely meet single guys that I find attractive or interesting.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

Don't assume that because he hasn't called he is avoiding you. Since you don't know him there could be a list of reasons for why he hasn't called. Calling him will make you look obsessive so I wouldn't do that. If it is meant to be then it will happen. There is a good chance that he is interested if he returned your contact initially. I would just wait to see what happens. You have nothing to lose. You didn't have a relationship up to this point so if it works out great. If not then you haven't lost anything. I don't think you blew it. You reached out to a guy you liked. So what. You have nothing to lose by trying. The worst that can happen is you go about your day at the office. It is okay to try and fail at a relationship. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay to ask someone who doesn't like you back. Have patience.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you. I agree with your advice. But may I contact you again in a couple days?