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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi I have been dating this girl for a couple of months now

Customer Question

Hi I have been dating this girl for a couple of months now since my ex has moved back home. This girl is more affectionate and more sexual then my ex. She is in love with me and I love her but not at the same level. I mean its only been 2 months. But here is where I really need help with. When I meet these girls it seems like they are much prettier then two months later. Like some of my friends are like Will what were you thinking. Your ex was better looking. However they do agree that this girl is a sweetheart. But am I looking for that? Even the girl who I stopped dating her for this girl saw her at a mutual place and said to me you gave me up for her. I guess what I am trying to figure out is whats the right way to figure out how I feel? I do want to say that I am highly sexual an so is she but she is not flexible at all and she has a bad hip. She said if she lost weight it would be better. Now I hate being superficial but we have only had sex like 5 times and she can feel that I am not really into it anymore. Any other new girl wouldhave been 40 times. What is going on in my head?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like you are genuinely confused. Start by identifying what you want in a girlfriend. If sex is at the top then put it at the top. This is just for you and you should be brutally. See which girl meets most of your requirements. Also consider the negative aspects of each girl. Try to look past superficial qualities such as looks. But if the one girl's looks bother you then you should not waste any more of her time. You have to be honest with yourself as well. Everything is a compromise but if her looks or her sexual performance is important then you should consider that. If something is a deal breaker like these things you may rule in her favor. When something is a deal breaker there is no point in going any further.


Whatever your decision is you have to be honest with yourself and them. You have to go with your judgment and trust that you are making the right decision. There is no way to know that your decision is right in the long run. Life offers no guarantees. Think about what I have said and apply the details. Start with what is important.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
But what I may be looking for may not be obtainable. My friends say every girl now is getting bigger and less attractive. That kinda hits home. Now I know the are not dating her but I am wondering if there just saying that or are the jealous. I thought abou it and I feel like I can get Bette looking girls but is it worht the constant chase and the high ticket items. Most have champagne taste and once the money is gone so r they. Like my ex wife. Hot girl but was in it for money. So where do u win. And it's quit frusturating
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
I understand your concerns after your recent breakup but you are really generalizing now. I am not saying to run to the hot girl but give all women a chance. There are some nice attractive women and there are average looking women who are loyal and dedicated. Go with your gut. I don't know if your friends are jealous but they have your best interest at heart. Don't base any dates on what others are saying. As you get back into the dating game you will see when and if you want to take a chance. Try not to let this experience leave you jaded because a woman is not going to want a guy who has preconceived notions. Just keep an open mind