-- So what you're asking is how to force someone to love you? Have you ever had someone who was interested in you and you weren't interested in them? What could they have done to "make you" interested? Nothing, right?
Now with this in mind, when it comes to your ex, you need to look at things objectively.
You can't make love happen. It's either there or it isn't.
--- This being said, there is a possibility that your ex is simply enjoying the drama and the focused attention you're giving her by continuing to pursue her.
So stop. As hard as it might be, refuse to make ANY contact anymore. Don't bring her name up to mutual friends; don't ask about her; don't call or text or even email. Nothing.
Force yourself into no less than 3 weeks of communication silence.
--- If it's a matter of her enjoying the pursuit, she'll be the one to contact you for something. When it happens, keep your response brief and to the point. For example, if she asks 'do you still have my toaster?' (whatever) - respond with 'yes. Let me know if you want it back and how you want to get it'.
Simple, nice, putting the ball in her court again.
If she doesn't contact you, then it's time to let go. By distracting yourself with new interests you can keep your mind occupied and even meet new people! Click here
to see what's up in volunteer needs in your zip code - a GREAT way to not only learn new skills on your own time; but it keeps you busy and exposes you to new situations and lots of new people.
I know your heart hurts - and I know this has to be devastating - but I also know that you can get through it. You sound pretty strong.