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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am in a relationship with someone who feels it is perfectly

Resolved Question:

I am in a relationship with someone who feels it is perfectly acceptable to have female friends. I have told him I am not comfortable with that and there should be some boundaries agreed on. He said having female friends is a non negotiable issue.

I feel he should respect my feelings and that this attitude makes me feel that they mean more to him than I do. We are now arguing over this more than I can deal with.

I feel in order to have a healthy relationship, a couple should respect how the other feels and work hard to find a compromise. I don't understand how any two people can have a healthy relationship when one is using the word "non-negotiable".
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

I agree with everything you said. When one partner is unwilling to compromise about anything the issue cannot be resolved. Everything should be open to compromise and the word nonnegotiable should not be an option. The foundation of a marriage should be built on compromise. Your husband is being unreasonable. This seems to be a power struggle at this point that you are losing. He may feel that if he gives up some of his power then he loses the fight. When in fact if he compromises he makes the relationship stronger. You need to get him to understand that compromising is not losing. He can have some of his friendships within reason.


I would love to tell you what to say that changes his mind but that term means what it says. That he is not going to budge. I would urge you to check out my favorite resource on communication between couples - Mars and Venus Together Forever.

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