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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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alright, this is how it happened, We have been together for

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alright, this is how it happened, We have been together for 5 months and everything i think i going swimmingly, then out of nowhere right before her birthday she invites another go over to smoke a L, but she runs out the door to see him from his car to her place and didnt do that to me, then she stands away from me and stays distant and is more attracted to the other (fat) guy, then once we finish smoking she asks this new guy fat mechanic to go join her on friday with all of her friends instead of letting me go. she leaves with him and walks him up to the street to his car. ( i know signals were there i was to madly in love with this girl to notice). Then once she gets back she saids she needs a break its not you its me routine, but she still wanted to goto the wedding with her because we had it planned for the past 3 months. The day of her B-Day i decided to cancel it because i knew what she was up too and didnt like the lies and mixed signals she was sending me. I still loved her and wanted to be there but i would be awkward because we are on a break and i know it wouldnt be right to go with her. then a week later she calls me saying she made a mistake and wanted to see me again, i told her i was too busy and we could talk about this at another time, she contacted me again about some ruckus going on upstairs just an opener and we talked liked we used to talk like we were together. next day she contacts me and says her freinds father died and i missed her Online text and texted her back that i felt sorry and she was supposed to think about the good times you all had together. But then i realized that she had already cheated on me with the guy that was there the day she broke up with me and i decided to date a girl for lunch and my away message was "chillin with Vicky" once i return to the computer she blocked me from every contact we had together from email to aim. Not sure how to proceed because i still have feeling for this woman ??? please give me a reason to move on!!!! thank you
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You already know you acted impulsively. I don't need to tell you that. Actually you both are acting impulsively. Both of you have had times where you disrespecting the relationship and each other. This is concerning to say the least. Sometimes the chaos of the relationship says something about whether the relationship has problems. That doesn't mean they aren't fixable. A reason to move on may be that another relationship may not be as intense and chaotic - this can burn a relationship out. Another relationship may not involve worrying if your girlfriend is dating someone else behind your back. It is great to come to your senses but that doesn't make it right. You would be able to develop a trusting relationship. What you did was childish but it wasn't dating another girl. You have to have trust in any relationship. So ask yourself is this possible with this girl. Everything can hinge on this question.


You need to look at this relationship realistically and decide if everything she has done is worth it. It is okay to want to be in a relationship that is not always positive but be honest with yourself about that. Trust is huge and if there can't be trust it is doomed. You can be hurt but not be naive. If you have to move on that comes with time and effort. There is no magic pill for a broken heart.



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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
That is Very true and i feel like i should contact her once again and i want to soo badly because i miss her so much..? but i know she i done form me, and i have no idea how to win or back or if i can ever??? :(
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You can't "win" someone back. All you can do is be yourself and offer the positives of becoming a couple again. If you are sure it is over then as painful as it is you have to put a period and move on. Contact may remind you of what once was. Instead find closure wherever you can. It's the only way to move on. Eventually you will stop missing her
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I made contact with her but she was with a greving freind from her freinds father just died. She said she will speak once the weekend is over, should i talk to her and see what we have to say to each other and see where things end up?
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Just give her time to be with friend. Then talk to her. See what she has to say
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