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Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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Hi. I need some cool ideas for places/events to ask a very

Resolved Question:

Hi. I need some cool ideas for places/events to ask a very nice girl (i dont know if its a 'date' exactly - jut somewhere to meet/chat or so.
i only ever see her when shes working in a coffee place, so perhaps a coffee place is a dull idea :-) but i cant think of anything else - we live in nyc.

a friend mentioned some sort of volunteering thing, she is a very sweet human spiritual sort of person i guess (the sort of person who reads and sits in parks and feeds homeless cats I'm guessing), but this seems too odd/big on a first meet. hmmmm...any ideas?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

While sitting and chatting sounds perfectly reasonable, it can be really awkward on a first date when the two of you are trying to figure out what you have in common to talk about.

So, anything that gets the two of you active together will be less awkward than sitting across a table. Sometimes doing the tourist thing in the town you live in can be fun. The planetarium, the zoo, MOMA, MFA, etc. Why should tourists have all the fun?

You might get some more tailored ideas by striking up a conversation about being a little bored, and ask her what she does for fun when she isn't working. If she's a reader, a trip to a used book store she's never been to might be good.

Glad you made the decision to ask her out. Hope all goes well !

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Oh the bookstore idea is great - i was actually reading a book that she wants me to give her when Im done with it. She likes books and autumn.
Is it creepy to say ive finished with it and can give it to her somewhere outside of work (i guess shes not gonna have anywhere to keep it when she's working)

i dont know why im such a chicken with this stuff - my days of being a nervous kid should be WAY behind me!!!

Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.
Don't try to lure her out of the coffee shop with your book..that might send a weird vibe :-)
But handing her the book is a wonderful moment to ask her if she ever goes to that bookstore--if she says no, then say something like "you've got to let me take you has the best________section anywhere--how about we go this Saturday?

Of course, the direct approach is best, XXXXX XXXXX can bring yourself to do it. When you hand her the book, just say how cool it is you two have the same tastes in books, and ask her if she'd like to hang out sometime. If she says yes, have a date and place in mind so she knows you're serious.

And if it turns out she has a boyfriend, don't let that stop you from hanging out there....boyfriends come and go. Stay friends and friendly. If she's interested at that later date, she'll find a way to let you know they broke up. And if her relationship isn't so great, just having someone else ask her out may motivate her to get out of it. It could happen...

I would love to hear the next chapter!
Suzanne and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thats great, thanks :-)
hopefully there is a next chapter - ill let you know if there is.