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Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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Am I holding onto a hopeless cause ?

Customer Question

Am I holding onto a hopeless cause ?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 5 years ago.

Cathy :

Hi and thanks for writing JA

Cathy :

Can you give us some some information on this so we can respond to your question? thanks for clarifying so we can help you. Warm regards, Cathy

JACUSTOMER-u54yan4y- : we have been together for 3 years first 2 perfectly happy- Him 41 never married never serious love relationship since 20's. Me widowed 42 - we both know we have something special and we can't find way back - I love him n know he loves me -we r not together all way now. Both don't want anyone else talk text every day.
Cathy :

Hi, thank you for providing enough information to respond to you. You do not say why things failed and got bad after the first two years and it is not clear what you mean by all the way now, but I am going to guess that you found or rather he found after two years that things were not working in terms of a romantic relationship. He certainly cares for you if he continues to text daily but it might very well just be that he does not think the relationship has a viable future. If that is the case, and again, you do not tell us why he left you, I would just allow this to go and move forward. It is very difficult if not impossible to force someone to feel as we do or to wish for the same outcomes we do and in so trying we often drive the other person further away. I am sure you are in so much pain and I wish I could offer you better words of comfort, but the best I can do for you on this is to offer you the expert response. I have seen this situation thousands of times (so you are not the first person to go through this nor will you be the last) and the very best thing you can do is to let go of him. If you let go, you stand a much better chance of him changing his mind returning and if he does not return you stand a much better chance of healing yourself. I know this is agonizing for you right now, but it will get easier in time. You have my very best wishes. Cathy