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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hey, I had a break up about 11 weeks ago. I was devistated.

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I had a break up about 11 weeks ago. I was devistated. I dont know what happened.. apparently it didnt feel right anymore to her and that she felt it we arent right together... even though she ws willing to give it another shot briefly.. but due to us both going to uni i think that became her main focus and the idea of me on top of that made her believe we are better off without each other..

She felt that she talk of the future seems so unreal. that she doesnt know if we could be together forever or whatever so better to end it now then hurt me again in the future. she didnt know whats best. but because i pushed her she came to this conclusion that we are deffinatly best apart.. Didn't feel right to her anymore.

I havent spoken to her in about 3 weeks... i desperately want to. i miss her and love her completely...

So many people have told me she has been horrible to be and should never speak to her again and move on with my life find someone new... but i love her...

I am heartbroken and jealous at the idea of her being with someone else... loving someone else... when i want to give her the world.. I can't imagine being with someone else when i still feel that we have the chance to try again. We still care about eachother. On many occasions she said she loved me, then next thing she feels we are in two different places in this relationship... therefore i dont feel that this is something i can throw away. When it means so much.

Is there any way to salvage my relationship?? ways in which we could try again without me mentioning relationship and scaring her away again.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You can hope this will work out but there is no way to work on anything without being completely honest. I know you are hurting but relationships, even good ones, can break up just because of timing. That seems to be what happened here. The problem is not that you don't love her enough but that she seems to be in a place where she isn't receptive to any relationship. If that is the case then there is nothing you can do. I know you want to try and convince her that this can work but it takes two partners. You both have to work equally on making a relationship work and you want it more than she does.


You can work right now on getting past this. You are in the most intense stage of hurting. Being friends would probably be more painful.


Try to focus on closure if she doesn't change her mind. You can bluff your way through finding a connection again. Find what helps you accepting whatever is reality right now.


If this was helpful press accept

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She often said i deserved better, that she isnt worth it. and couldnt understand why i couldnt see that.

How would i find closure? hearing it being told to me that its over move on with your life isnt working.

Even with time and reconnecting later date, u think it would still be unlikly to try again, even when the rawness had died down...
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Closure comes with those statements but it doesn't replace the hurt right now. It is only the beginning not the whole process. That takes time. When you feel better you could approach her but it is unlikely. She has made up her mind and if you hang onto this false hope it will only take longer to feel yourself.
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