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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My boyfriend says that he used to fall in love a lot when he

Customer Question

My boyfriend says that he used to fall in love a lot when he was younger but it takes longer as he's gotten older. It's been 7 months and he says he does not feel it yet but when I asked him if he could, he said "of course". He also told me that he thought I was trying to rush it. I'm pretty sure he fell in love with his previous relationships sooner, even the most recent one which was about a year or two ago. He's very respectful and affectionate towards me, however, it doesn't seem like he's very happy. Not sad but just content. We've also had our share of problems but I've tried to keep the drama to a minimum since.  He's can be vague and hard to talk to sometimes.  We spend pretty much everyday together and do almost everything together and I stay at his place even though I have my own apartment. We have pretty much already moved past the infatuation stage and are pretty much complacent.  Is him falling in love with me and building an emotional connection a lost cause? Is he wanting to see where it goes or is he just staying with me until something better comes along? 
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You may be doing more harm than good if you keep putting love on this timeline. When you ask too many questions or inquire as to if someone is in love yet you drive a wedge between what seems like a great relationship. Seven months is not a long time. If he fell in love faster before that was then and this is now. They were two different people. They were two different relationships. You are going to be unhappy if you compare out this relationship with theirs. You need to focus on the two of you. Love can happen anytime. It may come later but be stronger - you don't know. Stop pushing. He will grow into it if it is meant to be. Let him have his time frame. Focus on what you can do to make the relationship better. Find time for intimate dates. Make him feel special. If he is a honest guy and this is a good relationship he is probably just telling you the truth. If he was just biding his time he could have told you he loved you and kept you content until something better happened.


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