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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I was in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 yrs. We barely

Customer Question

I was in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 yrs. We barely saw each other during this time but managed to stay together. he recently began to communicate less & ultimately we broke up. We continued to comunicate and the other day I asked him "if you want me to forget just say Yes, no other words will be necessary...i will understand. He answered we can be friends....see where it goes. I really don't understand what this means. Please help. I have decided not to get in touch for 2 or 3 weeks to give him time to miss me.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
It sounds like he is unsure about the relationship for whatever reason. He has not given up totally because he has said "see where it goes". I would not say it was wrong to tell him how you feel. You did what you thought was right and that is never a bad idea. He may reflect on this later so have faith. Also have patience. I would think positively and see where it goes. You can build on a relationship without giving up. So find ways to communicate with each other as regularly as possible and check in with him to see where his feelings are. I would just take a mental break and compose yourself so you can handle the issues he seems to be struggling with.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Let me give you some more information. I'm much older than him for starters. Recently he told me when we were talking about him getting a job in Fl. (he is now in Va) he said what really scared him is not being able to give me the life I had with my ex husband. That at times he is without a job for a couple of months between jobs and that i didn't love him enough to be poor. He also said that he knew my lifestyle and he knew mine. He said he wished I wasn't so high maintenance (always has said this) but, actually I'm not & have said it to him in many occassions. I have told him I would give up everything to be with him. This morning he texted me 2 times. I have not answered him yet. He is not use to me not texting him.....must be feeling a little of the rejection I have been feeling for the last few months
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
If you have told him the honest truth about yourself then you can't do more than that. He may just be feeling insecure about his ability to merge funds with you and have a life together. These are his insecurities so you can try to help him see that you are not high maintenance but he has to believe it. Focus on what is making him feel that way rather than trying to convince him. For some reason he feels that he has to provide more than he can at this minute. I would decide what you want and how you want to address his insecurities before you text him back yet. I wouldn't try to give him rejection but instead focus on why he feels that he can't maintain a lifestyle