How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask psychlady Your Own Question
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am happily married for 16 years. I am very attracted to

This answer was rated:

I am happily married for 16 years. I am very attracted to my wife and love her dearly. Everyday I want to have sex with her. Its all I think about and it seems the more I get the more I want. What can I do, to not have the urge everyday. I am so freaking horny all the time. Is there a way to not be? Or is it a high testosterone level.

If this sex is within a healthy relationship then you would not be considered a sex addict so that is good new. Sex addiction is the inability to cut back with repeated failure. however it often includes unusual or high risk behaviors. Many times it includes porn. You can use the same distractions that you would use for a negative behavior like drug use. What those distractions are really are particular to you. Things you enjoy; different interests. And these don't include anything sexual. Inform your wife that you are struggling and want to reduce the sexual activity to focus on something else. Refrain from anything that leads to foreplay whether that is alcohol or something else. Figure out what your sexual triggers are and avoid them. This may be a candlelight dinner or anything that helps you think of sex. If this is a chemical issue or a testosterone problem then you have to consult your GP. You should check this out first.


If this is helpful press accept

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am 41, and I thought that by this time in life, the sex drive would subside a little. It is a healthy relationship, we have two boys 12 and 7. Great family life. I just want her sexually all of the time. We have many activities with the kids, but I am always thinking of my next opportunity to get her undressed, etc. Its enough to drive you crazy and I don't want to do that to her either.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am just hoping that one day, she is 39, hers catches up to mine. It may not.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Will hers catch up to mine? Will hers increase with age? Will my drive subside?
If you are truly committed then sex should be a very healthy activity. Don't be too hard on yourself. Women's sex drive does go up while a guy's sex drive goes now after age 18. So she should catch up with you. She is at an age to be peaking so the answer to your question is yes. Try to romance her instead of focusing just on sex. Quality time together building romance is never a waste of time. Make opportunities for romance and that could increase your sex life. Pick up a cute reference for this - Mars and Venus in the Bedroom
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you