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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I just ended a short relationship (6 dates) and now when I

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I just ended a short relationship (6 dates) and now when I think of a new relationship I get anxiety. I've never felt like this before.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You may be just having some anxiety regarding how the new relationship will unfold. You have had an unsuccessful relationship although brief this could be giving you some premature anticipation. Sometimes coming out of a relationship people tend to have some hesitations and wonder what the next relationship will hold. There is that after effect that creates some anxiety. Now you have to push on so that you don't project the negativity from this brief relationship onto a new one. Each time you push yourself out of your comfort zone you gain a little confidence again. Right now you are questioning what decisions you made or what really didn't work so you have to progress past that so you don't have negative thoughts. The key to overcoming this is to try to get back into the dating scene and lower your anxiety by meeting new people. You won't know that you can move past it unless you try new experiences.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am 38 and this was my first try again after 5 yrs where I was hurt my previous relationship. I felt like I was not satisfactory. Also religion plays a role because for marriage, my partner would need to be of the same faith which makes it tough finding people of the same faith or thinking that someone may convert later on. This adds to my anxiety. How do I know this is the right one? I just want to feel hopeful again and not afraid. It's really bothering me.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You should feel hopeful in the fact that you are a positive person with lots to offer. That is where you start. You have to believe in yourself. Religion can come after you accept that you are a great person. When you have exposed to dating more than you have so far you can begin to identify what you want in a partner over and above religion. You should have some attributes in mind that you are looking for so that you have a place to start. When you meet the right person I am sure you will know. No one can tell you about that ahead of time. You have to put yourself out there so that you have the experience of feeling that someone is the right one. You have to push yourself into a position where that is possible. You should feel hopeful just by the fact that you are participating in the dating experience. There is always hope. You will become less fearful as you date more. You are apprehensive right now because it is very new to you but you will get comfortable as you become more experienced. It is like anything else you are new to.
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