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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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hi dr keane i wrote to you before about steve and i and how

Customer Question

hi dr keane i wrote to you before about steve and i and how we didnt have an intimate relationship. i took your advice and finished the relationship and after 5 days apart he asked to speak to me .he apologised for hows hes been and opened up as to why he didnt want sex. he said hes affraid of not being able to perform and his confidence has gone since his mum passed away in april. he swears he loves me and wants to be with me but gets so nervous at the thought of having sex even though he wants to. my question now is how can i help him over come this barrier hes put up i really do love him and him me.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.

Dr. Keane :

Hi, I am glad that he finally is admitting his fears, that is a huge step for him. It may be simply grief over his mum that has him feeling this depressed and anxious. It is now close to, if not six months since she passed so it may be a good idea to suggest that he speak to his GP and get a referral for some therapy, he needs to talk to a professional, or find a grief group therapy (usually through local hospitals or churches) You can help by using patience and standing by him. If he takes care of the anxiety (which could be grief) and works with a therapist he will get better. Do not push him for sex, cuddle do whatever makes you feel loved right now. This is something he can work through. Sorry I was delayed in answering your question.