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Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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I am at my wits en with my husban of 5 years. Here is a list

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I am at my wits en with my husban of 5 years. Here is a list of foods he will eat:
Steak, hamburger, chicken, porkchops, bacon, eggs, canned corn and canned peas, potatos, whole milk (NO low fat!) white bread,and just about any kind of candy or junk food.
When I say that is ALL he likes, I mean thats it! NO veggies, no seasonings, NO anything. He wont even try anything. Needless to say my options for creating meals are very limited and I am tired of trying. He acts like a little kid whn it comes to food and I am sick of it. He needs to grow up. He is 40 years old and needs to stop eating like a pickey little child because it is not healthy and I am sick of trying to figure out what to feed someone who turns his nose up at everthing. I even have to read every label on every prepared food I buy to make sure there is tiney dried bits of some kind of vegetable in it and I have to put sauces int he blender so there are no lumps of anything like tomato or garlic in it or he eaither will throw it out and waste it or spend 30 mintues picking out every single "lump". It is so offensive to spend time and effort mking a nice meal only to watch someone picking through it with a disgusted look on their face. Seriously, I give up!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for bringing your question to Just Answer!

As you noted, he is acting like a little child. Since he won't listen to reason, it may be time to stop cooking for him. You can't change another person, you can only change what you yourself do. In this case, the choices seem to be 1. When you cook, separate out his meat and serve it to him plain. Don't bother making sauces for him if he doesn't appreciate it. 2. Cook for yourself, and let him deal with his meal himself.

If he is this way at forty, there's little hope that he will change. This is all about him, and not at all about your cooking, so remind yourself of that when he makes faces picking through food.

Sit him down calmly and explain that since he has such a limited diet, and it's not fair that your diet has to be limited by his, that you will stock burgers & chicken, peas and corn and he can prepare his meals the way he likes them.

It's a little like living with an alcoholic...he won't change until his eating habits cause him health problems (Hitting bottom, so to speak). He might not change even then. But in the meantime, you need to survive and get to enjoy your meals. Forget trying to cook to please him, and just make meals for yourself that are healthy and enjoyable. He'll either learn to cook, or learn to eat what you cook. Either way, give up trying to change's a battle you won't win.

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