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Although they say that all is fair in love and war I disagree. If this was your first dinner date then I can only think that he got cold feet and backed out, as is often the case when one goes from cyberspace to f2f. Yes you were perfectly with in your right to tell him how much he hurt you. Healthy boundaries may be the only way to survive in this day and age.
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You let him know that he has disappointed you and ask him if he knows why. I would also be very cautious about a romantic relationship in the workplace, especially if he is in a power relationship with you. There is nothing worse than having to face a former lover every day you go to work..