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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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well it is over. I left yesterday after something that happened

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well it is over. I left yesterday after something that happened when he said he would feel better just being friends and that it would be less pressure on him. he felt pressured cause of his financial circumstances and he realized I would move there without a job and he would not get paid from his deal in 2 months or more. I got really offended by this and said I was leaving, he said you do not have to leave and I said I did not want a just friends with him.

Most times when this happens each partner has their own set of expectations. Being friends is certainly not being in a relationship. If this can't be worked out then you should consider how to end this civilly. You shouldn't be pressured to be friends. If he wanted a relationship then he would not feel pressured for any reason. Even if he does there is always a compromise. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Why can't you work together to make a better decision. I would talk to him to see if this is his final decision and what other solutions would work just as well. The key is communication.



Customer: replied 6 years ago.
unfortunetly, i feel that this is best for me for many reasons. I believe you answered some questions for me a couple of days ago about this long distant relationship. Even though I felt the chemistry with this man, I am not sure he felt the same for me. I also feel there might be someone else. He had a very attractive female on his facebook friends and removed her when I asked him who she was. Low and behold she is back on, changing her outfits daily. Not sure what is going on there he never invited me to be a friend on facebook, and I did not invite him on mine. It is better this way, however I am truely hurt by this since I opened up my heart to him. His life is in a financially despair right now and he kept telling me about a deal that will be coming through. First it was the first week we met, then the second week, then the third week we were talking about me relocating, and it has been a month and no deal yet. I started to feel very uncomfortable about moving and relocating and I was very wishy washy for a month changing my mind everyother day. We had faith issues, I had issues about his relationship with the daughter, and honestly his kids are good in school but very controlling of his house that is also in forclosure right now. But I wish I can talk to him , but feel when he sent me a text today telling me he mailed my radio, and also said Thank You for being a wonderful person. I sent back Thank You for doing that and your kind words, take care. But in reality I did not want to say that. I really think I mean it is totally over but I wish I knew how he really feels. However the picture of that girl should be my answer unless he is mad I sad I am leaving this weekend. I left 2 days before I had too. He also said it was very difficult for him to be with anyone 24/7 and even said if I left for a couple of hours and came back he would like that. Isn't that kinda strange? He likes to sleep in late on the weekends, and I am ready to get up at 7. I am sure we could have worked all this out but I flipped out as usual and felt very rejected and the first thing I do is want to leave. Which I did.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
sorry I edited and sent again
Don't feel guilty as things may have had problems that staying wouldn't have solved. If you have any question about this girl and he can't be with someone 24/7 that isn't a relationship. A relationship is about being with someone as much as possible. It is about give and take and about honesty. If you having regrets, really look at the relationship. Don't think about the positives. Think about those huge negatives that you mentioned. If you go back and you think about it you have to take everything. It sounds like he is thinking more of himself than you. You would have to accept that too. You may have flipped but if it is over a relationship that isn't working, then it doesn't matter. You may have regrets but that doesn't mean you didn't do what is best
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